If all of your lovers have been unavailable in one way or another then you MUST read He's Scared She's Scared http://astore.amazon.com/nydacom-20/detail/0440506255

Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway will help you confront your fears http://astore.amazon.com/nydacom-20/detail/0345487427

I also highly recommend The Phobia & Anxiety Workbook http://astore.amazon.com/nydacom-20/detail/1626252157